By Jim Tucker
After my father got to know a person better he would challenge them with a question, “What are you going to do with your life?”
The first time he asked me was when I was small. He asked me the same question many times throughout my life and he continued to ask me it throughout his life.
Once he asked me. So I told him, I wanted to become a professional baseball player. He told me I would never be a pro ball player because I wasn’t fast enough. Sometime later he asked the same question. This time I told him I was going to be a pro football player. He told me I wasn’t going to be a pro football player because I wasn’t strong enough. I was surprised and frustrated by his responses. I told him I was going to go to college. He told me I wasn’t smart enough.
One day he asked me again. This time I’d prepared and for sure knew what to say to him. I had an answer for him. I said, “I’m not doing anything with my life. I’m going to marry a rich woman and just hang out.” My father told me, “You will never marry a rich woman.” I defiantly responded, “How do you know.” He said, “You will never marry a rich woman because you don’t hang out with rich women.”
Doris Day, was an American singer and actress around the 50’s and the 60’s. She sang a song, Que Sera, Sera Whatever Will Be, Will Be. The song goes something like this:
When I was just a little girl, I asked my mother, what will I be? Will I be pretty? Will I be rich? When I grew up and fell in love, I asked what lies ahead? Will we have rainbows day after day? Here was the answer. The future is not ours to see. Whatever will be, will be.
No one can predict the future on earth this is true. It’s not ours to see. But we can put the pieces in place and try to direct the future where we hope it will go. Without the pieces in place we definitely will not have any control of the future whatsoever.
When I was a child I didn’t understand what my father was telling me. My father wasn’t telling me I wasn’t fast or strong or smart. He was just trying to tell me I needed to work on those things to get to where I said I wanted to go. I needed to put the pieces in place. The future is not mine to see but the pieces I could control.
He was telling me the importance of associations. How I was to get there was to associate myself with those who have already been there. In other words hang out with those who know from experience. Don’t depend of something just happening, make it happen. If I wanted to be fast run with fast people. Have conversations with people who made others fast. If I wanted to be stronger, hang out with others who are stronger than I was. In this way I could learn what it took to become strong too. Socialize with those who are smart and do the things they did that made them this way. Read the books they read. The rich associate with others who are rich. And people who want to become rich learn the habits of rich people and learn to think like them. Don’t give your money to be invested to a person who did not handle his money wisely. Give it to the person with a proven track record for success. My father was trying to say if I wanted to be a ballplayer I had to be faster and stronger than my competition. If I wanted to go to college I had to be smarter about it.
People who work with doctors marry doctors, people who hang out with principled people marry within the circle they live in. You will fall in love with someone in the circle you hang out in. Many times the son becomes the same occupation as the father. The daughter becomes a lawyer because her mother is one. You become, in many cases the product of your environment and upbringing. Unprincipled people often get stuck with other unprincipled people.
If a boy or girl is kind to their parents this is a good sign. If your person of interest is unkind to his or her siblings, is disrespectful in public, lacks patience, or they treat their grandparents with disdain, this is worthy of a second look. If your parents are righteous and your boyfriend or girlfriend keeps you from them perhaps you need a different association. Unfortunately if you continue in a negative environment you can become a product of this too. You will become a product of your thoughts by becoming a product of your deeds.
If you are a kind person some will not like you, but it’s better to be kind. If you become rich, some will not like you but, be rich. If you have a choice between success and losing friends or failure and losing friends, choose to be successful.
The future is not ours to see and even if your destiny is heading toward a future of great suffering and pain build toward that future never-the-less.
Is it better to be rich and filled with joy, or poor and filled with joy? Is it better to be rich and filled with love, or poor and filled with love?
Whatever you want in life start putting the pieces in place to get there.
Our future on earth is not ours to see, but what are you going to do with your life?
Jim Tucker is a retired law enforcement officer, Shudokan karate sensei, trainer, author, father and husband. He has inspired many to become more than what they were, and is a blessing to all who know him. Read more from Mr. Tucker on his website: http://www.selfguardtraining.com