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The Beatitudes of the Devil

1. Blessed are those who are too tired, too busy, and too distracted to spend an hour a week with fellow Christians or to attend prayer meetings.

                    They are my best workers.

2. Blessed are those Christians who want to be asked, and always expect to be thanked.

                    I can use them.

3. Blessed are the troublemakers.

They shall be called my children.

4. Blessed are the touchy who stopped going to church.

They are my missionaries who help to ensure the unchurched stay that way.

5. Blessed are the complainers.

I am all ears to them.

6. Blessed are those who are bored with the minister's mannerisms and mistakes.

            For they get nothing out of his sermons.

7. Blessed are those who expect to be invited to their own church.

For they are part of the problem instead of the solution.

8. Blessed are those who gossip.

They shall cause strife and division, and that pleases me greatly.

9. Blessed are those who are easily offended.

They will soon get angry and quit.

10. Blessed are those who don't give their offering to carry on God's work.

                      For they are helpers in my work.

11. Blessed are those who profess to love God but hate their brothers or sisters.

                They will be with me forever.

12. Blessed are you who read this and think that it's about other people, and not yourself.

          I got you too.