John Stockton and Karl Malone scored more baskets off assist than any other duo in NBA history. Malone finished 2nd in all-time scoring and Stockton ended 1st in all time assists. Both earned Olympic gold as members of the original Dream Team and are included in the 50 greatest players of all time. But they could not have done it without each other.
The person you are courting needs to bring the best out of you. While most couples focus on the physical intimacy, that part can wait. Develop an emotional connection by talking about your past and connecting it to who you are now. Share with a vulnerability about foregone hurts and triumphs. Develop a spiritual connection by going to church together and talking about what you believe in. Discussing moral dilemmas and theological views is also a way to bond intellectually. Embrace per-marital consoling and marriage seminars. It fuels the fire of who you can be together.
On Malone's first day for practice, Stockton initiated a conversation by asking him; “where do you want me to pass you the ball?” Their connection began with one wanting to serve the other in the way they could best receive it.
Intimacy is to know. In the Biblical sense; having sex is often rendered “knew,” as in “Adam knew Eve and she bore a son.” Certainly, sex is revealing of one’s self and a connection is made but this is to be the culmination not the introduction.